


i believe that i know you

by lxdystardust



Series: Taang Week 2020 [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dunebabies, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Original Character(s), Taang Week 2020, i love that term ever since i found it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:46:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26610016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxdystardust/pseuds/lxdystardust
Summary: Taang Week Day 3: Spirit WorldIn the swamp, we see visions of people we've lost, people we've loved, folks we think are gone. But the swamp tells us they're not. We're still connected to them. Time is an illusion and so is death.After Aang’s death, Toph leaves Republic City and their family and friends to feel closer to him.Takes place in 153 AG, some time after Aang’s death.
Relationships: Aang/Toph Beifong
Series: Taang Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933363
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31





	i believe that i know you

**Author's Note:**

> I should say here and now that in pretty much every ATLA thing I create (except for Modern AU or unless otherwise stated) has Aang/Toph at 16, Katara at 18, Suki at 19, and Zuko/Sokka at 20, because writing for/as children just makes me uncomfortable idk.
> 
> This one was frustrating but fun! I’m a big fan of bittersweet writings so here we are. I liked Lin/Suyin’s canon dynamic too much to not hc both of them as Taang’s kids, canon Bumi is just very Dunebaby energy to begin with, and I kinda just recreated Tenzin as Tashi for my own reasons.

She had always thought that Avatars were supposed to live exceptionally long lives. True, Kyoshi’s age was a great exception no one expected to ever be replicated again. That didn’t change the fact that Toph had always assumed she would have at least another decade with Aang. 

She felt lost without him now. Neither had ever been the most present parent to their four children, despite their best hopes and efforts. He had his Avatar duties, she was Chief of Police. There was constant rivalry between the kids, which she supposed they both encouraged (perhaps her a little more consciously than Aang), and there was now a large chasm between her and their children. She knew that Bumi, their first-born, had always felt neglected and left out as the only non-bender in the family, whereas Tashi, their youngest, was the only airbender and thus was taken under Aang’s wing.

Toph’s hands were most often full with their two middle daughters, Lin and Suyin. They were both earthbenders, both two sides of the same coin, and she supposed that—combined with her stubborn Beifong blood—was the reason they had the deepest feud within the family. She tried to give them the freedom she longed for as a child, but it only ended with her eldest daughter all but refusing to talk to her, and Toph and Aang having to send Suyin away to live with her parents.

It had been too much for her then, almost ten years ago. She passed the title of chief of police onto Lin and decided it was time to finally spend some time with her husband. They traveled for a while, mostly to the Air Temples to check in on his Acolytes or the Earth Kingdom where her family was. She was proud of her husband for finally achieving all he had wanted, grateful that he had an airbending child to pass it onto. But she was never one to simply tag along on someone else’s adventures, not even for him. They struggled to find balance while roaming the world endlessly, just as they had as children. 

By the time they neared their mid-sixties, they had finally settled into a routine they thought they could live with throughout their retirement. They had a home on Air Temple Island near Republic City. The kids all had their own lives, their own stability. Their attention was no longer divided between young children, their careers, their city, their homelands. It was _just_ theirs for the rest of their lives.

She never expected “the rest of their lives” to be a mere two years.

***

“Mom, that’s ridiculous, you can’t just leave. You just settled into your retirement!” Bumi insisted over the dinner table where the three of them sat.

Toph sighed jaggedly. Of course it had been a bad idea to tell them she was leaving. “No, _your father and I_ settled into _our_ retirement,” she snapped. “You think I want to just sit around every day by myself? No! I’ve spent my whole life on the road and that’s where I belong.” 

(maybe that’s a lie maybe she had been excited about settling down maybe she hated traveling at this point)

“Mom,” Tashi interjected, trying her best to remain calmer than her brother. “If you’re lonely, you know that Jinpa and I would be more than willing to move back home to Air Temple Island.”

“I’m _not_ lonely,” Toph protested, slamming a fist on the table perhaps too roughly. “I didn’t have to tell you, and I wasn’t going too, but I didn’t think you’d all be silly enough to try and fight me.” 

“Thanks for that, Mom,” Bumi grumbled.

She spent the next hour fighting off her children’s arguments. Her mind was made up a long time ago and although she would never admit it out loud, she missed Aang too much to stay anywhere near the city they had both created. Every corner burned with memories of him. Their home echoed with emptiness. There had even been nights she had bolted up, drenched in sweat, grasping the sheets begging to find him. She could swear that she could hear him whispering to her, just quiet enough that she couldn’t make out the words.

The only memory of him she could stand to be around now was their children. She wished desperately to have them all together, for them to be some semblance of a real family in the wake of his death. But they were scattered—Lin in Republic City, Suyin in Zaofu, Tashi split amongst the Air Temples, Bumi traveling constantly with the United Forces. No matter how hard she tried, there would never be a way to be connected to all of them at once. Not here, like this, anyway.

Eventually, Tashi and Bumi accepted that there was nothing either of them could say to keep Toph in Republic City and dejectedly said their goodbyes to her before parting ways. She kept up the stony-faced façade she had always known best while she finished packing her things, making note for most of them to be sent to her children. She wouldn’t need them anymore.

She had told the two of them that she was simply returning to the nomadic life she and Aang had shared after her retirement from the police force. It would be true, for a while; she had plans to visit the Earth Kingdom again, stop in Zaofu to see her grandchildren and tell Suyin of her new search for enlightenment, maybe even see her old friends one more time.

She wouldn’t tell any of them that she was really going to the Foggy Swamp. They would only try harder to talk her out of it, tell her the swamp was dangerous for an old woman, that she was being ridiculous and irrational. Really, she had never felt more sure of anything in her life. Her heart belonged with her family and with Aang gone, it felt shattered. She was desperate to put it back together before it broke _her._ She knew of only one place that could make her feel connected to all of her children and Aang at once.

***

In her mind, Toph had a clear image of what she remembered from the swamp. She had visualized her new life there over and over. Stepping into it now, she was blindsided by a chilling feeling she could not quite place, like a wind threatening to barrel her over.

The one possibility she hadn’t allowed herself to dream now coursed through her mind as she ventured deeper into the heart of the swamp. 

(what if he’s not here what in the name of the spirits would she do with herself) 

It was not as if she could go back to her old life. She would have nothing left to keep her afloat, no hope of ever seeing Aang in this life again.

(maybe she shouldn’t have left maybe the hope was what kept her going) 

Eventually she reached the banyan-grove tree at the heart of the swamp. Discouragement sinking in her stomach like a rock, she leaned her back against the tree and slid to the ground. Toph Beifong had only cried a handful of times since her young childhood. The only person in the entire world who had ever had the fortune to see her so vulnerable had, of course, been Aang. Somehow, even from the start, he always knew when she needed him.

(which was fortunate because she would never tell him that)

He would come find her, no matter where she was, wrap his arms around and silently hold her close to his chest until the steady beat of his heart and the warmth he radiated soothed her. She hadn’t even cried when he died, not properly. 

Now, alone in this ancient swamp, Toph let go of her strength and let herself break. Sobs wracked her frame. She could picture how ridiculous she must have looked: a blind, middle-aged earthbender, sitting on a mucky floor, screaming with grief like she never had before. 

She had abandoned her children, her city, her entire life to venture into the Foggy Swamp. It was supposed to be a Spirit Wild, supposed to be the connection between the two worlds. But it was foolish of her to believe she would find her husband here; he was the _Avatar,_ his spirit was reborn into a new body, surely there was no reason to find any Avatar in the Spirit World.. 

As she let her anguish consume her, slowly icing her to her core, she imagined that this was it for her, the end of her line. 

A flash of warmth spread throughout her right side, a faint but familiar scent wafting around her. At once, her tears stopped and she jumped, alarmed. Every muscle in her body tensed as the sensation gradually transformed into reassuring arms around her shoulders. Everything clicked in her mind as she heard the voice she dreamt of every night, simply murmuring,

“ _Toph._ ” 

“Aang? Aang, tell me it’s you, tell me this isn’t some dark spirit playing a dirty trick,” she gasped, unwilling to trust her senses.

“It’s me. I’ve been waiting for you.” 

At that moment, she was sixteen once more, sitting side-by-side with a young monk, and she knew that she was home.


End file.
